Lessons that Anime Taught Us Nerds

Lessons that Anime Taught Us Nerds

The whole purpose of anime, or any show, is to make you feel something. At least some kind of emotion, regardless of what that emotion is. It could be anger, hatred, or more likely, laughter and happiness, depending on what you’re watching.

Since first watching Inuyasha at 12 years old and falling in love with it, I’ve been a huge otaku. I’m always searching for more anime to watch and review. The plotlines, the graphic art styles…I loved all of it. It was a world, unlike reality, that I could escape into and enjoy.

Anime was my haven.

But one thing I hadn’t been expecting, was the lessons that anime would be teaching me.

Lessons that Anime Taught Us

“It’s not the end. Everything’s just beginning“.- Ikuto, Shugo Chara

Throughout most of these animes though, they have an underlying theme…hope. The characters are all going through some trial of some sort, and they have to find a way through it by some means. Their motivation, determination, and persistence, is what gets them through it.

How often do we ourselves think about giving up? This past January was 3 years since I left the East coast and moved out to the West. Now I have flatlands instead of greenery and trees, and snow/wind instead of humidity. And, try as much as I might, I’ve never been able to escape my past.

I’ve barely been out of bed or even SHOWERED in the past month. Instead, I’ve been scrolling mindlessly through my phone playing games and reading several fanfictions that I’ve become engrossed with. Especially Miraculous Ladybug but anyone who has read the blog before or just knows me, knows that I seriously love that fandom. I’m total Miraculous trash and have no shame with it.

But there was no denying how hard this month has been. Nothing will magically change for us. When January 1st hits us, we’re still the same person we were the night before.

“Nothing disappears from the heart…”

I barely posted on any of my social media accounts or even my beloved blog. I felt myself slipping into an even darker abyss than I had been at previously and wasn’t sure how to stop it. I questioned every choice I had ever made, starting when I had first moved out of my first apartment to follow a guy that I believed was my person.

In hindsight, that was stupid…

The thing about depression and anxiety is… I NEEDED CHANGE – NOT SYMPATHY. I loved it though, lapped it all up. But it’s not what I needed to get out of the depressed, worthless feeling funk.

I was unhappy before I was depressed. I was depressed because I felt stuck and didn’t know how to fix the things that I was unhappy with, the choices I had made. I felt hopeless because I had no clue what to do about it. I was too young to know that I had options. That I could change things. That I could follow a different path.

And that is what I needed to learn. To accept the change that I had chosen.

So yeah, I moved across country where I barely knew anyone and didn’t have solid employment. And yeah I have had my heart broken on so many levels but I’m learning to let go. But anime helped me through it. It truly was my escape other than fanfiction and my fiction novels.

It wasn’t until I moved out west that I discovered that I was Asexual. And once I figured that out, everything started to make sense and I felt relieved. But I also felt discouraged. Being asexual is tough. Not many people understand how a person can just not be into other human beings physically or romantically.

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Now, don’t get me wrong. I love love. But I also can’t be physical with anyone. I’m simply not attracted to anyone. The emotions I get from looking at someone “pretty” is the same emotion I see when I see food I really like.

I always had to keep a list in my head of things I liked about that person like their funny jokes or I liked their hair. Almost as if I had to remind myself why I liked them in the first place. Sure, I found guys attractive, but not enough to want to be physical with them. Someone who isn’t asexual might have a hard time understanding that.

But I’m not perfect and never will be. I’m still highly sensitive and can burn out easily. And I always need to have a cause or a purpose. Which that is something that I’ll be going into more detail later on in another blog post.

I once had a trainer at work tell me that I was “marble-headed“. I would get an idea and it was like dropping one marble into a pile of others. The marble would hit them and run off in every direction until it ran out of momentum and seize to a halt.

I laughed then(and still kinda giggle at it), but it actually makes sense. I like feeling as if I have a purpose and I DO get some crazy “marble-headed” ideas. Remind me to tell ya’ll about my exploding salsa story and the time I accidentally flooded our whole laundry room.

But I still felt alone.

My heart still hurts over all that I have lost but I needed the change, and a kick in the rear, to remember what I have GAINED. I’m not the same girl who stood outside her ex’s house when he ended things, sobbing her heart out and begging him not to do it. Screaming out “NO” to him and he walked away and never looked back. I’m not the girl who used razors and bottlecaps to feel anything other than mind-numbing pain. I’m not the girl who felt worthless and unloved…

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that we’re hurting or that we need help. We’re all so much stronger than we realize and even though being heartbroken and depressed is worse than crap on toast…we’re still here.

Today might suck, but tomorrow can be better. We can live for tomorrow(okay, that is cheesy. Obviously I need food or something).